Monday morning, while everyone else was bustling out there, heading back to the office, I was holed up at home, getting a little notification congratulating me on four years since I first opened my “house” on WordPress.

2010. Back then, I’d only been out of school for about three months. Didn’t even have my diploma yet. Around this time, I think I was working at Afamily magazine? Or maybe I’d already quit? Can’t quite pin it down. All I vaguely recall is that after a few months in journalism, that fiery excitement I started with had fizzled out. Every time I wrote something, I’d see it copied all over the place—talk about discouraging. So I started dabbling in filmmaking. Red Bridge even called me up for a gig back then. But that didn’t pan out either. Next thing you know, I packed my bags for Saigon, stayed a little while, then hauled them back to Hanoi.

Whoosh—just like that, four years gone. Feels like a graduation from the University of Life. Four years out in the real world—learned a ton, stumbled plenty, but the cash? Not so much. Wherever I go, people hear I graduated from Foreign Trade University, Japanese department, and they’re like, “Why not work for a Japanese company? High salary, great perks!” Yeah, well, back in the day, I heard the same thing, threw myself into studying, and still ended up with nothing to show for it. Oh well. Now I’m just drifting around Saigon, no proper career in sight.

Four years. Friends from school are all getting married left and right, popping out kids already. Meanwhile, I’m still wandering. In the professional lingo of my folks at home, I’m still “aimless.” Then, at the end of a phone call, Mom says, “Don’t be too picky, dear.” Thing is, I’m not even being picky! Friends tease, “If you fell in love now, you’d tie the knot in no time, huh?” Who knows. I catch feelings for someone, then something happens, and it all falls apart again. Talk about jinxing it—can’t even take a step forward without wondering when I’ll make it through. So for now, I’m just focusing on making some money.

In Hanoi, everyone around me was married women. Down in Saigon, it’s all carefree single folks. Gives a girl like me a little pep in her step.

Four years. Like a blink. Feels like just yesterday I opened this door, and now I’m at 90 posts. No clue where I found the time or the words to ramble on about all that day after day.

Guess that’s it for now. Wait—have I ever written about the places I’ve been? Might be worth jotting that down for next time.

Happy fourth birthday to this little house!!!