I read somewhere that when you’re in a crisis, feeling depressed, or overwhelmed with stress, you should write to let it all out.

In the endless swirl of thoughts—about who I’m becoming, how I’ll handle the challenges right in front of me, how I’ll reach my goals, even the small ones, or that nagging feeling of just wanting to keep up with everyone else—it clings to me, wraps around me, refusing to let my mind rest. Even as a mom to a little one, no matter how hard I try to push down those negative emotions, that competitive streak keeps bubbling up. It teases me, waiting for a slip-up so it can swallow me whole with sleepless nights or that dazed, checked-out feeling.

But there’s no one to talk to about it. So I let that rope coil tighter around me, let it savor its little victory. I know I should break free, but half the time, I’m too lazy to bother.

I just let it be.

Starting this blog again feels like the first real step toward shaking off the stress and tossing those dark feelings aside. I’m writing as the one-year domain my brother gifted me nears its expiration. Writing as I realize the hosting I paid for has rolled into its second year. And here I am, still not doing anything to inch toward that dream of writing to grow, to capture beautiful family memories, or to put myself out there.

So this note marks the beginning of a self-challenge: 30 days of writing, just writing.

I figure if I take it one step at a time, one task at a time, and manage to finish something—anything—I’ll find the drive to keep going with the next steps.